Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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