Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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