She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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