good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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