he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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