Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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