There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
