It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
