hell yes lets make some ravioli
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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