Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
