did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
