were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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