The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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