She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I've blown a few things in my day
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
