Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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