New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
What a dumb baby whore.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
