he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
