you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
