I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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