Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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