And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
