he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
