Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
