What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
