he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
