apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
