i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
