remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
