Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
