It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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