so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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