dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i think i have herpe
just one?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
