Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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