yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Drunk is a universal language darling
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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