im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
