I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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