great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
