According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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