Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
