The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
