Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
