I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
