i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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