I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
