My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
