You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
