We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
