Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
