I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
