Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
